WHO AM I?
    I am a Champion Idealist

I value being enthusiastic
I trust my intuition
I yearn for romance
I seek identity
I prize recognition
I aspire to be a sage
I am in love with love
A champion, healer, teacher, and counselor

IT IS TIME - Joshua 3:1-17

I am saved by the Blood of the Lamb Jesus Christ - Genesis 8:11 And the dove came...
I am a Prophet Watchman - my life and my words are prophetic - Ezekiel 17-18 and Amos 3:7 
I am a sanctified Levitical Priest - Malachi 3:1-3 
I am a Priest- Of the Levitical Tribe of Merari -Numbers 3:36-37 Keeper of Gods House, Porter, Door keeper
I am His and He is Mine. He is my Portion.
I am married to Jesus Christ - my husband is my Maker- Isaiah 54 
I am a Mother of Kings - Genesis 17:16
I am victorious - 1 Cor 15:57
I am a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ - Luke 14:26-33. Forsake all and follow Him
I have power and authority over ALL devils and to heal diseases - Luke 9:1 - Luke 10:19
I have the Fire of the Holy Spirit in my belly
I am strong and courageous- Joshua 1:7
I am crossing over into ALL of Gods promises JOSHUA 3:3-17
Gal 2:20
I am crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who lives, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me

MY CALLING AND PURPOSE....DO YOU KNOW YOURS?
I am a Champion Idealist, abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in accomplishing my aims, and informative and extraverted when relating with others. Nothing occurs which does not have some deep ethical significance, and this coupled with my uncanny sense of the motivations of others, gives me a talent for seeing life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil. My type is found in only about 3 percent of the general population, but I have great influence because of my extraordinary impact on others. I am inclined to go everywhere and look into everything that has to do with the advance of good and the retreat of evil in the world. I can't bear to miss out on what is going on around me, I must experience, first hand, all the significant social events that effect our lives. And then I am eager to relate the stories I have uncovered, hoping to disclose the "truth" of people and issues, and to advocate causes. This strong drive to unveil current events can make me tireless in conversing with others, LIKE A BUBBLING FOUNTAIN, SPLASHING, AND SPILLING OVER with what ever God has revealed to me to get it all out.
I, as a Champion, consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life, although I can never quite shake the feeling that a part of me is split off, uninvolved in the experience. Thus, while I strive for emotional congruency, I often see myself in some danger of losing touch with my real feelings, which Champions possess in a wide variety. In the same vein, I strive toward a kind of spontaneous personal authenticity, and this intention always to "be myself" is usually communicated nonverbally to others. All too often, however, I fall short in my efforts to be authentic, and I tend to heap coals of fire on myself, berating myself for the slightest self-conscious role-playing.
The high spirited "Advocate" part of me puts lots of energy into investigating the public world and developing my social awareness. I am a "keen and penetrating observer" who can't bear to miss out on what is going on around me. I am referred to as an "APOCALYPTIC AND HERALD" because of my fervent desire to SPREAD THE NEWS OF MY EXPERIENCE OF GOOD AND EVIL.
Brimming with life, I live spontaneously. But more than simply seeking the excitement of new experiences, I am interested in understanding the significance of things, and more than simply taking people as I find them, I care about nurturing ethical and sympathetic social relationships. I am serious and conscientious in my relationships, wanting to NOURISH HUMAN POTENTIAL AND TO AWAKEN what I believe to be the latent morality in my fellow man. In a word, I am a romantic in my relation to the real world, seeing high drama in my quest for life, and I have an IRRESISTIBLE CALL TO ENLIGHTEN THOSE AROUND ME.
I can be quite coercive in my role-informative style of defining relationships. I delight in free discussions of current event issues--I BURN WITH CONVICTIONS AND BUBBLE WITH MEANINGFUL DETAILS, YEARNING TO UNVEIL what I believe to be the "true story" of significant events. I will CHAMPION A CAUSE with such zeal that I can be carried away with the rightness of my position, and find myself preaching to my friends and loved ones, trying fervently to convince them of my point of view.
I am a sensitive PROPHET who can weep over the sins of her nation. "Oh that my head were waters, and my eyes a FOUNTAIN OF TEARS" (Jer 9:1). I am also a COURAGEOUS woman of God who can endure persecution and affliction. I am a PATRIOT who passionately loves her country. I have the tough assignment of INFORMING AND WARNING. Unable to keep silent with burning words of rebuke and admonishment, my heart aches with the sense that our security cannot be divorced from faith in God and a right relationship and obedience. I call for people to REPENT SO THAT THEY CAN BE RESTORED to a right relationship with God. I warn of false prophets and idolatry to the people, as a WATCHMAN ON THE WALLS. I have been appointed a PROPHET AND A WATCHMAN. The Lord says to me that "wherever I send you, you shall GO, and all that I command you, you SHALL SPEAK. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, declares the Lord. "BEHOLD, I HAVE PUT MY WORDS IN YOUR MOUTH. Now gird up your loins and SPEAK to them all which I command you, Do not be dismayed before them, lest I dismay you before them. (Jer 1:18) "Now behold, I have made you a fortified city, and as a pillar of iron and as walls of bronze against the whole land, to the kings of Judah, to its princes, to its priests and to the people of the land. And they will fight against you, but THEY WILL NOT OVERCOME YOU, for I am with you to deliver you, declared the Lord." (Ezek 3:17) I have appointed you a WATCHMAN to the house of Israel; and whenever you hear a word from my mouth, warn them from Me. "Whenever I say to the wicked, 'You shall surely die; and you do not WARN him or SPEAK out to warn the wicked from his wicked way that he may live, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand."
Repent and turn away from your idols, and TURN YOUR FACES AWAY from all your abominations. (Ezek 21:9) "Son of man, PROPHESY and say "Thus says the Lord, 'A sword, A SWORD SHARPENED AND POLISHED! Sharpened to make a slaughter, polished to FLASH LIKE LIGHTENING! CRY OUT AND WAIL SON OF MAN (Ezek 21:12)

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CHAPTER 17 - AM I A PHARISEE OR A SAINT?

    When I was in the Air Force in 1994, I was told that I could not say "God or pray" in the workplace.  I went to social actions and complained; and they would not take one side or the other.  So then I went to a military chaplain.  I told him my story and all he said to me was "YOU BETTER COUNT THE COST."  And not long after that, God told me to get out of the Air Force.  He then led me to sell and give away all my belongings.  And my family turned against me because I put God first in my life.  Luke 14:26  If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.  14:33 So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he  hath, he cannot be my disciple.  And so I gave up my life to follow God.  He taught me how to hear and obey His Holy Spirit.  God cleaned this house (my body) and moved in.  And after all these years of working with Father God, there has been a recurring theme to my call.  He started my calling by exposing me and teaching me about the spirit of Jezebel.  And almost everywhere He leads me I run into this intimidating, manipulating and dominating spirit.  The spirit of Jezebel hates the TRUE prophets of God and will do whatever it takes to eliminate them.  With the true prophets of God around, she no longer has control of everything and everyone.  She does not want the Holy Spirit to have any control, she wants it all.  And she spreads the spirit of fear and talks of devil much.  Her agenda is to have all control over the people and resources.  So when you see this spirit trying to eliminate the Holy Spirit and his miracles and his prophets and saints; beware they are not of God but Satan.  Even God does not take away our free will.  And so after 22 years of serving God and his people, helping them get set free from this spirit.....I say "I COUNTED THE COST, I PAID IT.  AND NOW I AM BACK."  I am back with power and DEMONSTRATION OF THE HOLY GHOST with a fire in my belly to cast out demons and heal the sick.  And I command you spirit of Jezebel TO LET GOD'S PEOPLE GO!  In the name of Jesus Christ and with His authority I throw the spirit of Jezebel that has infiltrated our religious systems and government,  I throw her down to the dogs to be eaten.  Nothing left of her but her skull, feet and palms of her hands.  And the carcase of Jezebel shall be as dung upon the face of the field in the portion of Jezreel; so that they shall not say, This is Jezebel. 
2Kings 9:37.   THERE IS NO PEACE AS LONG AS JEZEBEL SITS ON THE THRONE.
    At a womens bible study on Post, I am still being harrassed and threatened not to speak and not to tell any of my testimonies of what God has done in my life. Head Chaplain gave a lecture to all of the women, but was specifically aimed at me; hoping all the other women would jump on thier band wagon to shut me up. He mentioned that if any one experienced this type of solicitation to tell Provost Marshall. And so I asked how do I get in contact with this Provost Marshall, is there a phone number. He was angry with me and stormed off saying "I will just call them right now for you." Once again, being pushy and dominating over me; making this appointment that he did not know if I had time to attend. So in the middle of the bible study, he opens the door and calls me out and says they are there (and once again, making a big show trying to make me look bad.) Not only was the Provost Marshall there but also a Policeman. I explained to them how the woman in charge of religious education post wide, took me to a back room and told me I have used up all my words just in the second week of this 13 week long bible study on Jeremiah. And that I am not allowed to speak, I am to sit there and just listen. And also told me that I am not allowed to tell any testimonies of what God has done for me, that it is called solicitation. And not only that, a woman who they have placed as President over the Post womens bible studies, later that day took me aggressively by the arm pushing and pulling on me telling me to go speak to the Head Chaplain. After I spoke with head chaplain, he told me that he was going to sit in on each bible study to examine me. And not only was he going to sit in on this bible study to examine me, but also at the other bible study I attend on Sunday mornings at the small chapel. Anyway, after weeks of their harrassment and intimidation, I said they are not letting up. So Police asked me what do you want? I said I want them to back off and allow me the same free speach as all of them. They are all telling of things God has done in their life freely. And I showed them my bible study book on Jeremiah that was given to me by them; and how it says after every chapter to now think about how this book of Jeremiah applies to your own life and to leave time in the bibile study to allow us all to talk about it. I told them that they are only allowing speach that doesn't make them uncomfortable in any way. And when we are discussing the book of Jeremiah, that might be impossible. They hate to be corrected so much, that it doesn't matter what I say, they try to shut me up and say it is wrong. And all the while they are acting out the book of Jeremiah right before our eyes....AND THEY ARE STILL BLIND. These same leaders also speak of John MacArthur very highly, and how they think his theory of the bible is the best one. Well, John MacArthur is a well known CESSATIONIST. I have many testimonies of God's supernatural power and deliverance in my life. So is it any wonder that they would want to shut up and kick out anyone who disproves their theology of how miracles, Apostles, Prophets, signs and wonders have CEASED after John the Apostle died. They not only believe this way, but they are intimidating, manipulating, and dominating very aggressively to make sure their are no miracles or Holy Spirit moving in their atmosphere. This is very evil...and her name is Jezebel. After this woman who is head over religious education heard of my blog which contains my testimonies; she FREELY read it without being coherced or forced in any way. I did not even give her my blog site, she got it from someone else. When ever she is around me, she causes a big scene telling the other women not to get by me or touch me, as she is quivering with fear. Plainly, we are of two very different opposite spirits. She and her many followers are the perfect example of the Pharisees who persecute the messengers and saints of God. She has many puppets doing all her dirty work who will be judged along with her. I am telling you the truth. You must be doers of the Word and not just hearers, DECEIVING YOUR OWN SELVES. If you are not doers, you are no better than the Pharisees. When you are a doer, you will get many testimonies of WHAT GOD HAS DONE in your life; and this what Satan hates. BUT THIS IS HOW YOU OVERCOME, BY THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB AND THE WORD OF YOUR TESTIMONY. Now DO THE WORD, CONFIRM HIS WORD IS TRUE BY DOING IT. And then you will see that the Word of God comes alive. All that He says will happen to you, for His sake, will happen. BUT TAKE COURAGE, HE HAS GIVEN YOU POWER TO OVERCOME THE WORLD. And there is nothing better than working with God and knowing that you are in his perfect will, covered, protected, care for, walking in his power and Spirit, CONFIDENT IN HIM, because He is the One leading you and working in and through you. PRAISE GOD, YOU ARE HIS, AND HE IS YOURS. NO FEAR. ONLY FAITH AND POWER IN THE HOLY GHOST. NOW GO, TELL YOUR STORIES OF WHAT GOD HAS DONE! And may God bless you and keep you, and shine His face upon you. Amen, amen, amen laurieanncarlisle.blogspot.com

CHAPTER 16 - THROUGH THE WATER

CHAPTER 16 - THROUGH THE WATER

   I have been receiving so much more revelation knowledge in these past few months.  I started writing my blog about 5 months ago.  Have not watched any television, but have been on facebook and writing my blog.  A few months ago, my eye started bothering me.  Its was as if a very bright light was shining in it, almost blinding.  And then after I stumbled upon the Astronomy Club outside our local library, with their telescopes set up to look at the sun; I have had more problems.  The Club assured me that their telescopes were set up to safely look at the sun.  They were big and looked professional grade.  So I looked at the sun, and the next day, they're were two pretty large looking ink dots in my left eye.  So I looked it up on internet, and it said to never look at the sun through a telescope or binoculars.  UGH!  So I waited a week and then went to eye doctor.  At this point the black dots were spreading out, like  a drop of ink in water.  I was seeing bubbles in my eye, as if it were under water.  I know, weird!   Anyway, eye doctor said that my retina is starting to tear away allowing fluid behind my eye.  I have been back to eye Doctor several times to watch it.  It is getting better but please pray for my eyes.  I don't know if I could completely blame it on the telescope because I was having some problems of bright light in  my eye before that.  Maybe its down in a deep well...right?...
   I have more to tell before this story, but because of the recent news on the Brexit (Britain Exits the E.U) I need to tell this story.  Twenty years ago, God told me that He has made me a MOTHER OF MANY NATIONS.  I had miracles of deliverance and sold and gave away all my belongings to follow Him.  And a supernatural noise of travail comes out of me when I am stirred up in the spirit.  I am a prophet and God has been showing me much about water breaking loose.  That underground rivers were going to break forth.  I have told many times over the years that the earth is in travail and that the waters will break as a woman who gives birth.  The water breaks first before the baby comes.  I asked God what my purpose was in 2005 and God showed me how my last name was connected to the City of Carlisle in England.  And that the mythological God of Odin (which is the root word for TRAVAIL) is strong in the City of Carlisle.  There was a curse put on City of Carlisle in the 1500's by the Archbishop Dunbar from Glasgow.  In 2001 that curse was engraved on a 14 ton boulder and put in the museum in the City of Carlisle.  The United States had 911 happen in 2001.  I prayed for the City of Carlisle and for the curse to be broken and Cumbria England was also being flooded with water like they have not been flooded since the 1800's. 
   Then my life goes on (fill you in later).  And in 2013 a 2" cancerous tumor was found in my colon, I had to have 7 inches of my colon taken out.  And when I was in the hospital, my house was being broke into by thieves.  While I was supposed to be rested and healing, I was selling and giving away my belongings to move again.  The whole thing was trauma, trauma.  Anyway, I got mad at God.  I gave Him my life.  I have not even so much as kissed a man, or dated in 20 years; and I know my God is able to keep me.  He has been my husband, lover and provider for 20 years.  And now I am feeling betrayed by my husband.   After about a year of healing and not going to church; I go back to a little church here in Sierra Vista.  God used them to minister to me and build me back up, praise God.  He was faithful every time I went, to speak to me and assure me that He hasn't left me. 
   Although I was consistently going back to church, I was still feeling angry and bitter.  I would say things under my breath everywhere I went; nasty comments about people.  I hated it, and I wasn't like that before I was sick.  So I started praying for Father God to forgive me and help me because I didn't want to be angry and bitter.  I asked for Him to forgive me for being angry at Him, and after many months of praying there was still no change.  Around Thanksgiving time in 2015, God told me to look up Skyway Church in Goodyear Phx AZ.  That was the church where my daughter attended preschool in 1996 and the place where God touched me supernaturally to set me free.   So after looking them up I am in awe of how they are preaching about everything God had been showing me.  And there guest speaker Chuck Pierce was speaking about curses which led me once again to pray over the City of Carlisle again.  After many times of fervent prayer for that curse to be broken, one night while sleeping, my bed started violently vibrating while I was paralyzed and could not speak or move.  Went on for several seconds.  After that, I knew that things were happening in the spirit realm concerning this curse. And when I looked up Cumbria news in December of 2015 they were being flooded with water again, like they have not been flooded since 2005.  I continued to watch Skyway live every week and see that people from all over, different states, were going there to get baptized because they were getting touched by God.  A couple months before I even looked them up, I was at a yard sale and bought 3 long 7" spikes that look like huge nails.  I didn't even know why I bought them, but I did.  And while watching Skyway church, they were talking about how 2016 is the Hebrew year of 5776, which represents the year of Gods eye and the spike or nail.  And Pastor Greg pulls out a spike that looks exactly like the ones I had bought at that yard sale.  And He hands them out to his congregation to go and spike the land and claim it for the kingdom of God.  And He mentions a scripture that God gave me many years ago; Isaiah 54 - "Sing, O barren, thou that didst, not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not TRAVAIL with child; for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the Lord. 2- Enlarge the place of thy tent and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations; spare not, lengthen thy cords and strengthen thy stakes; 3- For thou shalt break forth on the right hand and on the left; and thy seed shall inherit the Gentiles, and make the desolate cities to be inhabited.  
   I knew I needed a fresh touch from God so  I called them up and asked them to put me on their list to be baptized.  And I said, "oh by the way, I am from Sierra Vista is there anyone there I can stay the night with?"  And she said no that she couldn't think of anyone but that I could stay with her.  She didn't know me and I didn't know her, so that was very kind of her.  Meanwhile, I prepare for my trip and make a copy of all the BORDER RIEVERS NAMES that were originally cursed by the City of Carlisle curse and I made a copy of all of England and the 1069 word curse to bring with me.  I also prepared my offering $320 and brought one of my spikes.
   On January 9th, 2016 I arrive at her house in Goodyear Phx Az.  It was a 4 hour drive from Sierra Vista Az.  It was a very nice house in a gorgeous neighborhood.  I ring the door bell and meet a retired couple of about 67 years old.  They were very nice.  I was only at her house about an hour and had told her a little bit about me.  How I had cancer about 3 years ago and I felt angry and bitter afterwards.  And then she says "okay we will pray for you."  She puts some anointing oil on my wrists and she gently puts her hands on my shoulders and prays a simple prayer of "Father God, you hear the trauma she has gone through, we ask you to deliver her from anything that came in that's not of you."  And I felt my knees buckling and a heavy weight pushing me down, so I allowed the Holy Spirit to bring me down to my knees.  And then while leaning my head on her couch, I felt that same power come all over me like it did 20 years ago.  They call it slain in the spirit.  My eyes are open, I can see my body doing things and I can't stop it.  While on my knees and leaning forward with my hands and head on her couch, I could feel a deep pulling way down in my gut and then I abruptly would sit up and blow out; sounded like a loud sneeze.  And then I would fall back down until I felt that deep pulling again way down deep and then abruptly sit up and blow out.  This happened over and over for several minutes.  I could see her legs standing behind me for awhile and then they disappeared.  At one point, it was the strangest thing; I know I was delivered from a demon.  A very high pitched screeching noise came out of me.  So weird because I made no effort to push it out, it just came out.   So after a while of this going on, I got up after I felt that power release me.  And I said to myself "oh my goodness, He did it again.  He supernaturally set me free again."  Praise God.  I walked around her house to find that she was in the shower, but her husband was in a far living room watching me from a distance.  The whole thing reminded me of pulling deep hard to pull weeds.
   So the next day, I go to church with her to Skyway Church.  The message was good. they had a guest speaker who's message was on repentance, and the fire of the Holy Spirit.  THAT IS MY MESSAGE!  So I was very stirred up in the Holy Spirit.  At the end of preaching, they did altar call.  I always go to the altar when I am sure it is the Holy Spirit speaking, whether I know what I need to repent of or not.  I want to be sure I am obedient  and go to the altar and allow the Holy Spirit to search my heart.  So I go up for prayer and take the hands of an older intercessory praying couple.  They pray for me for a few minutes and I go down to my knees and start travailing.  It was one of the strongest and most supernatural travailings the Holy Spirit has done through me.   A woman came over and led me to a back office and asked me what that was about.   I could only share about the first time that it had happened to me 20 years ago while watching Alison Ward from Brownsville revival.   After I left the office and walked out in the hallway, I saw the guest speaker and said to him,  "you ask for the fire of the Holy Spirit, and when it shows up; you say "what is that?"
   So that evening they were doing baptizing.  They had 70 people to baptize that night.  It was awesome to watch all the people as they were ministered to and touched by God.  When I went in the water, I brought with me a paper copy of England and another paper copy of all the original Border Reiver names that were cursed by the Archbishop Dunbar from Glasgow.  And also a paper copy of the 1069 words of the curse and one of the 7" spikes.  I brought them all under the water with me and asked the ministers in the water to help me pray that the curse would be broken and also that now all of the names under that curse would now be FISHERS OF MEN FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD.  What I saw after printing out all the original border reiver names was that my last name was on it AND Kilpatrick.  The Pastor of the Brownsville Revival in 1995, Pastor John Kilpatrick, he was the Pastor of the church and was standing next to Alison Ward speak when I flew out of my chair travailing for the first time.  So there is a definite connection spiritually.   Both of us on that list of border reivers...weird!
   Monday morning I packed my clothes, cleaned my room and her bathroom and I was just about to say to her thank you and head home; when she says "Laurie, do you know what a soul tie is?"  And I said "I think so."  And she explained that it is when a person or thing takes a piece of you and you take a piece of it, and she asked if I can think of any.  I said "the only thing I can think of is the vision God gave me 20 years ago of a little girl in a red dress standing next to a door that was only open a couple inches."  I had seen that vision twice while at her house.  So she gets the oil out again and says "lets pray."  So she says a simple prayer again and then says to me "Laurie now I want you to open that door."  And I look up and say "oh, I don't think I can."  And she says again "open the door Laurie."  And I finally say "okay I'm in" and she asks "what do you see?"  I said "I see hands slapping me in the face, back and forth.  They keep slapping me and laughing at me and mocking me."  And she asked "do you see a face," and I didn't, just hands.  Then she said "Laurie, your dad abused your mom when you were in the womb and you think it was your fault.  Your dad was only acting out of his own pain and it wasn't your fault.  Now raise your arms out, hug your dad and forgive him."  So after some crying and hesitation, I lifted my arms and hugged my dad and forgave him.  And like a little girl, I said "I want to see your face daddy, I want to see your face."  She then says to me "okay now Laurie, I want you to take that door off the hinges.  Now take it outside and sit on it and Jesus is sitting on it with you; (and she giggles because of what the Holy Spirit showed her to tell me), now slide down the hill."  Wow, so now every time I see that little girl, she is free.  My friend asked me to go to her bathroom and look in the mirror.  And she had a list on a paper and she told me to look at myself and repeat after her; I am beautiful, I have beautiful eyes, my feet are beautiful, my hair is beautiful, I am smart, I am loved, I am worthy etc....A long list of things that God says about me to fill the empty places where I have been cleaned.   I had a four hour drive home and when I made it home, it felt like I was only driving a half hour.
   That night, when I climbed into bed I text my daughter telling her goodnight when I felt a wind on me.  I text my daughter and told her I needed to go around the house and check for any windows or doors open.  I found nothing undone or broken so I went back to bed, and still I felt the wind.  So I just asked my daughter to pray for me and went to sleep.  The next day, the Lord told me to look up Pastor John Kilpatrick from the Brownsville revival.  His most recent message was on how the winds of the Holy Spirit are blowing on you now to set you free.  Wow, I was in awe how God set that up.  And Pastor Kilpatricks messages before the "Wind" series was on "Being delivered from the Orphan Spirit."  God has done that so many times in my life, He will do a thing and then back up and show me what He did.  So that He gets all the credit, I would not want it any other way. 
   My friend sends me a text a few days later and sends me the information to go to a deliverance seminar their church is having in two weeks.  Why didn't God just set it up for me to go to that seminar?  So now, I knew I had to go back and make sure I was done.  I went to the seminar, and it was good.  Lots of renouncing, rebuking and cutting off unclean spirits.  I wanted to stay for the whole day and didn't want to miss anything.  They had a line of ministers that we could go up and ask for prayer, so I waited my turn in the line.  When I got touched, fell to the floor and started to laugh and laugh with a deep belly laugh.  Felt like I was being tickled from the inside out.  It seemed to be contagious, they other women started laughing too.   It was getting dark about now, and I was hoping to be home before dark.  I started driving home and I only had an hour left before I made it home and I couldn't make it.  So I pulled over at a Hotel, paid for a room and when I went to close my door; it wouldn't close.  I tried and tried and it wouldn't close.  So I looked all over that door until I see the middle hinge on the door was completely off one side of the door with these long screws hanging out keeping it from closing.  So I get frustrated because I am so tired and go to the front desk and  ask them to just take that hinge all the way off and they can repair it tomorrow.  Afterwards, I am in front of the bathroom mirror and remember her prayer...to take the door off the hinges.  God is awesome, He confirmed for me that He was indeed opening that door and never to be shut again.  The next day, I had lunch with a friend and told her this story.  Right after lunch I went to a clients house to clean and opened her shower door and it came completely off in my hands.  I tried to put it back on and I couldn't.  I had to just lean it in the shower.  God is so awesome.  Signs, wonders, words, pastors, friends, etc...He worked it all out so wonderfully.  I feel so loved again.  Praise God, He is a good good daddy.    But this just isn't about me.  I am a prophet and my life is prophetic.  For whoever has eyes to see and ears to hear what Father God is doing.   So I pray for your eyes to be open to see how God also wants to set you free.  It is time, it is due time for us to be free and restored.  Do not miss out on your own deliverance and restoration.  Press into Father God, don't give up.  And listen for His directions.  So many times, He will be telling you to do something, or go somewhere to get your miracle.    There is a place, and it's the CROSS.  Go there and receive His mercy and love. 
   PROPHETIC WORD -  A couple years ago, God gave me this word.   Because of the shift in the  magnetic field; the power is going to go out.  This will effect the hippocampus part of our brain, and THEN we will remember how to get back to where we came from.  And God says, all eyes on England.  I wrote these words down in a text and sent it out to all my friends on facebook a couple months ago.  So with everything God is showing me about England and this prophetic word; I am so excited to see what happens next with England.  The good thing is that they are reclaiming their independence and America will follow suit.  Because that is where we came from.  America will remember how to get back to where she came from.  Praise God!   The last prophecy God gave me was - There will be an explosion of power in June, and then we will move fast.




  

CHAPTER 15 - GODS' SOUND

CHAPTER 15 - GODS' SOUND

   The mythological god of Odin is strong in Carlisle.  Odin in Vines Dictionary is root word for "travailing".   Lets find out about this "Odin" character.   His name is related to oor, meaning "mind", "excitation," "fury" or "poetry," and his role, like many of the Norse pantheon, is complex.  He is a god of wisdom, war, battle and death.  He is also attested as being a god of magic, poetry, prophecy, victory and the hunt.  Odin sacrificed his left eye at Mimir's spring (I have seen in various places some sources say left eye and some say right eye) in order to gain the wisdom of the ages.  Odin gives to worthy poets the MEAD of inspiration.  Odin is associated with the concept of the Wild Hunt, a noisy bellowing movement across the sky, LEADING A HOST OF SLAIN WARRIORS.  Consistent with this, Snorri Sturluson's Prose Edda depicts Odin as welcoming the great, dead warriors who have died in battle into his hall.  Valhalla, which is the hall of the slain.  THE FALLEN ARE ASSEMBLED and entertained by Odin in order that they in return might fight for and support the gods in the FINAL BATTLE OF THE EARTH, Ragnarok.
   He is also a god of war, appearing throughout Norse myth as the BRINGER OF VICTORY.  In the Norse sagas, Odin sometimes acts as the instigator of wars, and is said to have been able to start wars by simply throwing down his javelin Gungnir, and or sending his Valkyries to influence the battle toward the end that he desires.   The Valkyries are Odin's beautiful battle maidens that went out to the fields of war to select and collect the worthy men who died in battle to come and sit at ODINS TABLE in Valhalla, feasting and battling until they had to fight in the FINAL BATTLE, Ragnarok.  Odin would also appear on the battle field sitting upon the leader of the Norse as two ravens, one on each shoulder, Hugin (thought) and Munin (memory), and two wolves (Geri and Freki) one on each side.  Parallels between Odin and Celtic Lugus have often been pointed out that both are intellectual gods, commanding magic and poetry.  Both have ravens and a spear as their attributes, and both are ONE EYED. 
   Odin ventured to Mimir's Well, near Jotunheim, the land of the giants.  Not as Odin, but as Vegtam the Wanderer, clothed in a dark blue cloak and carrying a traveler's staff.  To drink from the Well of Wisdom Odin had to sacrifice his left eye, symbolizing his willingness to gain the knowledge of the past, present and future.  As he drank, he saw all the sorrows and troubles that would fall upon men and the gods.  But he also saw why the sorrow and troubles had to come to men.  Mimir accepted Odin's eye and it sits today at the bottom of the Well of Wisdom as a sign that the father of the gods had paid the price for wisdom.  Sacrifice for the greater good is a reoccurring theme in Norse mythology.  Odin was said to have learned the mysteries of seid from the Vanic goddess and volva Freyja, despite the unwarriorly connotations of using magic. 
   Odin is attributed with discovering runes. The term runes is used to distinguish these symbols from Latin and Greek letters. It is attested on a 6th-century Alamanic runestaff as runa and possibly as runo on the 4th-century Einang stone. The name comes from the Germanic root run- (Gothic runa), meaning "secret" or "whisper". In the Celtic language Irish, the word rún means "mystery," "secret," " intention" or "affectionate love." Ogham is a Celtic script, similarly carved in the Norse manner. The root run- can also be found in the Baltic languages, meaning "speech". In Lithuanian, runoti means both "to cut (with a knife)" and "to speak". According to another theory, the Germanic root comes from the Indoeuropean root *reuə- "dig". The Finnish term for rune, riimukirjain, means "scratched letter". ^] The Finnish word runo means "poem" and comes from the same source as the English word "rune"; it is a very old loan of the Proto-Germanic *rūnō ("letter,literature,secret").^]
    He was hung from the tree called Yggdrasill while pierced by his own javelin.  He hung for nine days and nights, in order to learn the wisdom that would give him power in the nine worlds.   Some scholars hypothesize that this legend influenced the story of Christ's crucifixion.  One of Odin's names call him "Allfather" or "father of all."  Odin could see everything that occurred in the universe.

CHAPTER 14 - THE CUP OF ODIN

CHAPTER 14 - THE CUP OF ODIN

   I have been getting so much more revelation knowledge just trying to write this chapter.  I will get started on it so it will help me sort out what I have so far.  Thank you Lord Jesus Christ for sending us your Holy Spirit who gives us revelation knowledge of you, your kingdom and our purpose.  You give me so much Lord God, so as I pour myself out for your people, I ask that all I do and say leads them into a love relationship with you, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 
    So after I asked God "what is my purpose?", He showed me how Vulcan was going to  fall, and  about the rod and the bronze serpent.   He was even showing me much about the planets, frequency and sound.  He would show me things about the magnetic field and the planets and comets and then bring me to search things about the very small cells in our body.  Wow!  When God says one word, just one word...it can mean so many things; just as it does with "Vulcan."  Did God mean Vulcan a planet, or fire, or United States of America, or a blacksmiths hammer, or Nemesis an enemy that cannot be beaten, or vengeance and retribution?  I believe it means all of those things.  And that is how it has been as He shows me things, they have so many different angles and or interpretations.   What I have found in all my research over the years is that the enemy loves to take of the sacred things of God and distort and twist and make it look evil.  And then we do not want to touch those things again.  Well we need to go there and take our sacred things back for the kingdom of God.  God is changing our perception, so that we can see how He sees.  I'm going to use an example that I think is appropriate for what I am trying to get across.  And that is the male genital part called a penis.  Stay with me, this is not ungodly.  So what do you call it?  Is it a penis, phallus, winky etc... So many different slang names for it that you can probably come up with.  And it has a lot to do with our up bringing, culture, time period and experiences.  So there are many different ways to LOOK at it based on our already instilled perceptions.    And some people have a lot of shame in just saying the word.  And others are much more loose about it and even go to extremes in the other direction.   My point is that "IT" is still a very important part of your body and our society.  We need to have the correct perception of "IT" in order to not profane or to over exaggerate it.  Oh my gosh I can't believe I am talking about this but it is the best example because as I'm researching I have found "IT" to be a very common thing that is distorted, if not put into proper perspective.  As with many other things that can be distorted.  So watch your perceptions, the enemy has twisted and made sacred things look evil and on top of that now has made our society so sensitive and easily offended.  We need to have our spirit eyes renewed so we will be able to know what is clean and what is unclean.  And no longer hiding or running away from all the smoke screens and lions with no teeth of the enemy.
    Are you still okay?  I'm not even going to talk about that "word", as we go on.  I just need you to realize and be conscience of your perceptions as we go.  
   One of the things God told me to do when I asked what my purpose was, was to look up my last name.  I have never before been interested in knowing anything about my last name.  So When I looked it up on  the internet, the first place it brought me was the City of Carlisle in England.   Carlisle is a city in the far north-west of England, and it is the largest urban area in Cumbria.  It is part of the City of Carlisle local government district, and acts as the administrative centre for both the district and Cumbria.   The Romans called their settlement on the site of todays city Luguvalium.  Luguvalium can be interpreted from Latin as "the place, or wall or strong place of Lugus.  When I looked up Lugus, it was a deity who was identified with Mercury.  And inscriptions have been found  that Lugus was dedicated by A GUILD OF SHOEMAKERS.  And in Galicia Spain "lucus" means sacred grove or forest.  Mercury's iconography includes ravens, and the cock, the tree of life; dogs or wolves; a pair of snakes on caduceus; mistletoe; shoes (one of the dedications to Lugoves was made by a SHOEMAKERS' GUILD; Lugus was described in the Welsh Triads as one of the three golden shoemakers of the island of Britain; and bags of money.  He is often armed with a spear.  He is frequently accompanied by his consort Rosmerta  (great provider), who bears the ritual drink with which kingship was conferred (in Roman mythology, Mercury's mother is Maia, meaning in Latin "she who provides").  Unlike the Roman Mercury, who is always a youth, Gaulish Mercury is occasionally also represented as an old man.  
   Gaulish Mercury is associated with tripilism, sometimes he has three faces, and three phalluses, which may explain the plural dedications.  For many years the name Lugus was derived from the Proto-Indo-European root *leuk-, "light", and thus he was considered a sun god. Or from PIE *leuk- "to shine", like with "shining eyes".   Lugus may equally be related to Proto-Celtic *lug- meaning "oath, pledging, assurance" and "deceive" on the other.  Proto-Celtic *lug- oath, which would support this identification with Mercury as a god of contracts.  This god's name may also be related to Latin lugubris "mournful, pertaining to mourning," from a Proto-Indo-European base *leug- "to break" or to "break the heart".
   The pre-Proto-Germanic tribes in contact with the Celts (possibly the Chatti) moulded aspects of Lugus into the Germanic god Wodinaz or Odin.  And in Christian times he seems to have been assimilated into the archangel Michael.    So it seems now that the mythological god of Odin is strong in Carlisle.  When I went to read more about the City of Carlisle, I found that an archbishop Dunbar from GLASGOW put a curse on the City of Carlisle back in 1525.  There were different clans and family feuds going on across the English and Scottish border.  They were stealing cattle, rape and pillage.  They called these clans the BORDER REIVERS.  The curse is 1069 words long and it cursed everything you can think of.  A local artist engraved all 1069 words of the curse on a 14-tonne boulder, and in THE YEAR OF 2001 the City of Carlisle put the artwork in their city museum.  (WHAT DID WE HAVE HAPPEN IN AMERICA IN 2001?)  After I saw this, I started praying against that curse and cutting it off.  I also sent an email to the City of Carlisle asking Jim Tootle Council member to destroy that stone with the curse.   And I also sent scriptures to them from the book of Dueteronomy saying that we are blessed and not cursed.   I was getting flooded with revelation knowledge about the City of Carlisle.  And had a dream that I was in a flood of muddy quick flowing water, with trees and furniture and distressed looking people passing me by.  And I was just very peacefully floating looking at the pink sunset hitting the muddy water.  
And not long after that, I read BBC news in Carlisle to see that they are getting flooded with water like they have not been flooded since the 1800's.  And their news said that they are having various misfortunes every since the stone was put in the City.  They have had hand mouth and foot disease, flooding, fires, killings, thefts, rising unemployments and the City sports league failed.  March 2005, councilor Jim Tootle, on the request of Christian groups, proposed the stone either be moved outside the city boundaries or destroyed altogether.  THE HIGH PRIEST OF THE BRITISH WHITE WITCHES, Kevin Carlyon, proclaimed that such actions would give the curse more power.  He commented that a curse can only work if the people believe in it.  A council meeting on March 8, 2005 rejected Tootles proposal.  BBC news said the City of Carlisle was completely cut off by flood water. 
   At this time, God led me to ask the question "why did my dad nick name me "Lupe?"  That is a Hispanic name and he called me that from a very small child on up.  So I get out my Vines Concise Dictionary of the Bible and I look up "sorrow/grief", and I find the root word for it is "Lupe"(3077).  And right under lupe is ODIN (5604) WHICH MEANS BIRTH-PANG, TRAVAIL, PAIN, SORROWS, Matt 24:8, Mark 13:8.  Wow, I was in awe!  After 10 years of this supernatural travailing going on, and I finally get some information on what it is.  But I guess its no surprise.  I am also a prophet and God shows me much about the church and the end times, and its not very pretty what He shows me.  And the very first time I flew out of my chair at church travailing, I was watching that film clip of Brownsville Revival and Alison Ward when she makes the comment that God is grieved because the people are not listening to Him.  So it finally starts to all add up.
   So now lets go to the mythological god of Odin and see what this "SOUND" is doing.  See next chapter.  Don't miss this...I'm giving you enough information to know what time it is in God.  God has once again been flooding me with revelation knowledge and it is so deep and so good.  I hope and pray that I will be able to pour it all back out for you to receive and understand.  Stay with me...THERE IS A SOUND!
  
  

CHAPTER 13 - "WHAT IS MY PURPOSE"

CHAPTER 13 - "WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?"

   In 2004, after I received all the prophesies on "Vulcan is Going to Fall", I started feeling an overwhelming sense of responsibility.  I wondered what do I do with all this information.  So I asked God "what is my purpose?"  I started searching places to find my purpose.  I even took a class from the "Life Purpose Institute" with six other women on the phone for six weeks.  The cost was $3000, she sent me several large binders full of ways to find your purpose and what you love to do.  Lots of material on how to then plan goals and market yourself to have a business doing what you love to do.  I was a little frustrated with the class at first, she only asked a lot of questions.  I wanted her to tell me about me.  And really the class teaches how to ask the right questions to search yourself for the right answers.   So what I found out was my purpose was to help others find their purpose.  I seek identity, so once I find who I am; I need to help others find who they are.  Or else I cease to be me.  I love to do it, I do it naturally where ever I go.  I really enjoyed this time with these very professional women and all that I learned.  God also led me to pick up a book called "Please Help Me Understand Me II" by David Keirsey.  Its about temperament, character and intelligence.  After taking the self test in the book, I found that I was a "Champion Idealist."  I have never found any other source that could explain and know me so well.   When you are asking God what your purpose is, He will use all kinds of different ways to show you.  God gave me the words "tiny bubbles" one day, and I still don't know what that means.  Except that He showed me the front page of a Discovery Magazine about tiny bubbles of methane gas coming up from the sea floor.   So keep an open mind and be looking for His answers, and write them down.
   So although the "Please Help Me Understand Me" book was good and I could relate a lot of the descriptions about me to God's word; I still wasn't satisfied.  Remember the travailing that began in 1995?  What is that about?  I knew it was God and not me.  I knew it was doing something in the spirit realm, but what?   He had been showing me bits and pieces of what it is over the years.  I have told many people over the years that I am a Prophet and so I believe that when the travailing started in 1995 is when the beginning of sorrows started, as stated in Matt 24:4-8  And Jesus answered and said to them, "See to it that no one misleads you for many will come in My name, saying "I am the Christ,' and will mislead many.  "And you will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars; see that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end.  "For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and in various places there will be famines and earthquakes.  "But all these things are merely the beginning of BIRTH PANGS."  And God also gave me the scripture Is 54 "Shout for joy, O barren one, you who have borne no child; break forth into joyful shouting and cry aloud, you who have not TRAVAILED; for the sons of the desolate  one will be more numerous than the sons of the married woman, says the Lord.  Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch out the curtains of your dwellings, spare not; lengthen your cords, and strengthen your pegs.  For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left.  And your descendants will possess nations, and they will resettle the desolate cities."
   Around this time period, I had heard a sermon about Numbers 21:6-9 - 6 And the Lord sent fiery serpents among the people and they bit the people, so that many people of Israel died. 7 So the people came to Moses and said, "We have  sinned, because we have spoken against the Lord and you; intercede with the Lord, that He may remove the serpents from us."  And Moses interceded for the people. 8 Then the Lord said to Moses, "Make a fiery serpent, and set it on a standard; and it shall come about, that everyone who is bitten, when he looks at it, he shall live."  9 And Moses made a bronze serpent and set it on the standard; and it came about, that if a serpent bit any man, when he looked to the bronze serpent, he lived.   And I asked God the questions, "why a rod, and why a bronze serpent."  Because I thought serpents were symbolic of evil.  In my research, I found that many medical organizations use a symbol of a rod with two snakes around it and topped by a pair of wings which is the caduceus of the Greek God Hermes (Roman Mercury).   Messenger of the gods, inventor of magical incantations, conductor of the dead and protector of merchants and thieves.  It is taken from the Greek Karykeion the herald's staff.  The caduceus was the magic staff of Hermes.  Hermes in Greek mythology is the Olympian god of BOUNDARIES and the travelers who CROSS them, of shephards and cowherds, of orators and wit, of literature and poets, of athletics, of  WEIGHTS AND MEASURES and invention and COMMERCE.  Also the inventor of fire and invented a lyre out of a tortoise shell.  The word herma relates to "a BOUNDARY STONE, CROSSING POINT."  Hermes embodied the spirit of crossing over.  He was seen to be manifest in any kind of interchange, transfer, transcendence, transition, transit or traversal, all of which involve some form of crossing over.  This explains his connection with interchanges of goods, words, and information involved in trade, interpreting, oratory, writing--with the way in which the wind may transfer objects from one place to another, and with the transition to the afterlife.  Hermes was also the first teacher of Alchemy.  NO I DO NOT WORSHIP MYTHOLOGICAL GODS..NOR SHOULD YOU.  I have never in the past been interested in them, God used them to show me what He is doing.  I am going somewhere, just as God does if you keep following.   Keep your eyes on what God wants to show you, your main focus is the Holy Spirit.  Okay, so lets move on.   Hermes is likened unto the Roman god of Mercury who was a major god of TRADE, profit and COMMERCE, the son of Maia Maiestas and JUPITER.  His name is related to the latin word merx (merchandise, merchant, commerce etc).  Mercury  has a lot to do with science also and the planet Mercury.  The word mercurial refers to something erratic, VOLATILE OR UNSTABLE, derived from Mercury's swift flights from place to place.  Mercury had about the same aspects as Hermes, wearing winged SHOES talaria and winged hat and carrying the caduceus, a herald's staff with two serpents around it.  He was often seen with a cockerel, herald of the new day, a ram, symbolizing fertility, and a tortoise referring to Mercury's invention of the lyre from a tortoise shell.  He was a messenger god and a god of trade, particularly of the GRAIN TRADE.  He was also considered a god of abundance and commercial success, particularly in Gaul.
   Julius Caesar wrote of Mercury being the most popular god in Britain and Gaul, regarded as the inventor of all the arts.  Mercury was equated with the Celtic god of LUGUS, and in this respect was commonly seen with Celtic goddess Rosmerta.  Although Lugus may originally have been a god of light or the sun, similar to the Roman Apollo, his importance as a god of TRADE AND COMMERCE made him more comparable to Mercury.  Mercury was also strongly associated with the Germanic god WOTAN, the two as being the same.  Described as the chief god of the Germanic peoples.  Mercury was sometimes portrayed with three heads, as a triune god.  Mercury is given primary rulership over all things magical.  This may be due to Mercury's association with ODIN, who is the head of the Norse pantheon.
   In the next chapter, I will tell what God showed me about my purpose and the travailing.   And now at this point, you are learning how to pick out and discern key words.  When I am researching a thing, I will come across something that just seems to be lit up; as if a light shined on it.  Kind of like sitting in a classroom of other people listening to a teaching and then all of a sudden the teacher calls on you or looks at you.  He's got your attention, out of all the other words spoken, you will remember the ones when he looked at you or called on you.  Remember that feeling.  To me it feels the same when
God is saying to me "look at this, pay attention."  I am not after mythological gods, I am after the hidden treasure that will bring me more understanding of the Lord God Almighty and what He is doing.  I did not on my own wandering go to purposely seek out mythological gods.  My God who I have learned to trust led me there.  And so I am still focused on and following God Almighty who has consistently given me wisdom and prophecy.   Prophets are subject to other prophets, so I keep in tune to other prophetic voices that I have been listening to and proving over 25 years.  God has many times shown me things through or by a source that was not traditional or mainstream, and it has turned out to be prophetic.  And I learned how to follow His leading a little at a time.  So this may be a huge leap for you to be reading about mythological gods.  Anything you are drawn to or more passionate about than our Lord Jesus Christ, you should not be going there.  We are here to learn about prophecy, and that's all.  And then we move on, wherever God is moving. 
   Next chapter gets more into the meat of what God wants to show us, see you there.
   

  

Chapter 12 - FOUNDATION FIRST - YOUR PLUMBLINE

Chapter 12 -  FOUNDATION FIRST - YOUR PLUMBLINE

    These last two chapters are much harder to write because of all the prophecy.  I start writing and I get more revelation knowledge and then I go on all these other trails that I haven't seen yet.  Wow, God is awesome.  You ask Him a question and He answers.  In my searching after God, I find so much revelation knowledge.  I am good at picking out and finding what He is saying and doing at that  specific time and then all the pieces are like a big puzzle that now has to be put together and interpreted.  The interpretation always takes me much longer to figure out.  As time passes, I go back and read what He has told me and I am in awe of Him.  All of the prophecy God has given to me is so deep and wide, it takes time for my mind to really grasp all that He is saying.  Mainly because I am not educated on any of the things He is showing me, but each time I pick it up and go over it again; can even be years later, I understand so much more.  He is building a house.  Starts with a foundation, Jesus Christ the Word of God and salvation.  You must be born again to understand spiritual things.  Several times I have shared my prophecies and I go back to see these people and they now have some kind of secular book in their house on witchcraft, divination, mediums and fortune telling.  Some of them are Christians.   The foundation matters, it is the plumb line or standard of which all other things are measured.  The one place that never changes, the way, the truth and the life; Jesus Christ.  He is the door to the Kingdom of God, do not try to enter or go places by any other door.  You will not like where you end up.  We are searching and after the Holy Spirit of the living God that Jesus gave us; He is our counselor, teacher and very present help. 
   Okay now that we have the foundation of our house built on Jesus, we can move on.   It has taken years for God to keep building on things He has shown me back in 1995.  Why because He is building a house, we cant put the windows in until we put up the walls.  In other words, I won't be able to understand what He wants to show  me now without understanding what He showed me back in 1995.   In the book of Amos 3:7  Surely the Lord God does nothing unless He reveals His secret councel to His servants the prophets.  And also in book Proverbs 25:2  It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, but the glory of kings is to search out a matter.  A religious spirit likes to say "well if it is not in the Word of God then it is not of God".  That is also why they will cross their arms and look away and even mock my testimonies; because they cant find it in the bible.  God is still DOING all those things He talks about in His word.  And He even says we will do greater works than Jesus.  So lets not put God in a box, but always keep your foundation in Jesus Christ solid.  After I got saved in 1990, I started listening to Charles Stanley.  He is a very good Baptist Preacher and I still listen to him amongst all the other things God shows me, and all the other Pastors I listen to.  Well, now I know why I took so long to start this chapter.  I am concerned about you trying to go spiritual places without a good foundation.  Gods word is always first!  Are you ready to move on now kings and priests of the Most High God?  You are going to want me to be telling you interpretations along the way, but I like to stick with what God shows me and not what I think.  But if you stay with me for a while, I believe we will experience God together.  God wants us to grow up and get it for ourselves.  He wants you to ask Him questions and then be looking for the answer.  That is called a relationship.  If we already knew everything and it is like a program of 1,2 and 3; done the same way every time;  Then we would not need to come to Him and seek Him.  People who have fear like to be in control of everything and everyone so they know what is coming.  God's ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts.  We have to search for Him, and He is always moving and working.  Lets search for Him in the Word, prayer, meditation, fellowship with other believers, Pastors, mentors, etc...  And don't have fear and don't put Him in a box.  God has many times used the most unlikely source to answer my question or minister to me.  Lets go find where He is working and join Him in His work!   
   I thank you Father God for sending your Son Jesus Christ to die for me, and to pay a debt I could not pay.  I receive your Son Jesus as my Lord and Savior and I ask for forgiveness of all my sins, wash me and make me clean.  I give you my life and I ask you to live in me and through me.  I give you my mind, spirit, soul and body and I ask you to be glorified; be high and lifted up in me.  Now I ask you to lead me and teach me your ways and your thoughts, I receive your love and your mercy.  I am loved, I am forgiven and I am in you and you are in me.  Let your perfect will be done, let your kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.  And use me Lord God, use ME!  
   Praise God that we are His and He is ours; and we can hear His voice!   Next chapter is "WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?"